Battlefields: 2. Visiting the Anglo-Zulu Battlefields

The museum at Rorke's Drift, scene of the famous siege

After our tour of the Anglo-Boer battlefield of Spioenkop (see part 1) we headed east and back in time to the Anglo-Zulu Wars. To British imperial treachery and arrogance and to bravery, fortitude and warrior spirit from both nations of young men fighting over yet another mountain top.

The Penny Farthing, Dundee

About an hour and a half east of Ladysmith, deep in the green valleys of KwaZulu Natal and on the edge of Zululand we finally reached the Penny Farthing farm and guesthouse and our host and guide Foy (so called because the first farmhand to greet the newborn had a lisp and exclaimed 'a foy!'), took us into his home.

The octogenarian widow Foy is one of the leading historians guiding visitors through these battlefields. His family have lived and farmed here since the Voortrekkers left the Cape in the mid 1800s, surviving the scorched earth of the British during their war on the Boers and today fighting to see through the end of the worst drought in decades. The wide empty fields were a blaze of luminous green grass as the first rain in months had just arrived, although as Foy showed us, just below the surface the red earth remained bone dry.

After a delicious home-cooked dinner around a grand dining table looked over by black and white photos of several generations of bearded ancestors, we retreated for a gin and tonic and a documentary film. In it the true stories of the battles were told, the complex history of the Zulu nation was outlined, the problems of weaponry and technology examined, the reasons for the conflict explained and the myths of Michael Caine's Hollywood epic, Zulu, were dismissed.

The rains continued to patter atop the steel roof of the old house and across the horizon distant flashes of lightning flared. That night, 30km from the nearest town, I slept deeply and dreamed of green valleys and red-coated armies, of fires and songs, strong black men running through the night and a past Africa of competing clans and colonies.

After breakfast we all packed into the trusty Yaris and set forth for Zululand. The road quickly turned to gravel and as we passed field after field spattered with anemic miele corn, Foy told us of the poor harvest that was to come after this devastating drought. Soon we crossed into the valley divided by the Buffalo River, the borders of Shaka's Zululand.

The quiet valley of Rorke's Drift

British memorial at Rorke's Drift

A more modern Zulu memorial at Rorke's Drift

Rorke's Drift

First stop Rorke's Drift. The tiny field hospital and mission station manned by a small band of British soldiers which withstood an army of several thousand Zulu warriors. It's remarkable how small it is. How humble. The British didn't bother with their usual grandeur this close to the borders that they had previously promised not to cross.

As Foy talked us through the museum using his walking stick to point to the crucial front lines – first the garden, then the veranda, the doors, the windows - the sight of thousands of young Zulu warriors burst into the imagination. Having run a half marathon overnight from the next valley over (there were few horses here in those days due to the devastating African Horse Disease) the men launched themselves on the small garrison determined to wet their spears with blood and prove themselves in battle. The British redcoats guarding the field hospital sought to stand their ground, summoning their own bravery and strength in a last stand that remains one of the most lauded of the era.

Now this valley is serene, un-manicured but pretty, not wild nor dramatic. We sat and soaked in the scene under a tree with a simple picnic followed by cups of tea. The occasional villager strolled by on their way home, a child played in the street while a woman swept her stoep.

Isn't this what everybody wants to do? To sit beneath a tree in good company with a cup of tea and a sandwich while the world quietly turns? Is this calm humdrum of everyday village life, of homemakers, elders and children going about their day, what the men dreamed of as they lay dying in the grass? 

Such a gentle valley filled with the dead of so many. And yet it felt so peaceful there, that without Foy's brilliant narrative one could think it all had never happened. This is how battlefields are sometimes. They are there only but for the spoken memory of it.

Isandlwana on a busy day

Looking out over the hills in the direction of Rorke's Drift

One of many cairns littering the battlefield of Isandlwana

Isandlwana

Our final battlefield lay some 30kms away across the river and in Zululand proper, the kingdom of the Zulus which apartheid South Africa designated as a 'Bantustan'. There's no time to explain here how and what Bantustans were (I still don't really understand myself to be honest...) but these parts of South Africa are markedly different to other parts of the country. Life is slow, the landscapes broad, the roads are terrible and rural poverty is ubiquitous. It felt very different. Different problems, a different way of life and a very different landscape.

As the Isandlwana peak loomed into sight we stopped to take a picture. Some ladies walking down the road stopped for a photo of the British tourists making their pilgrimage to the battleground. It was a big day in the area as it was the anniversary of the battle and the King was in town. He'd helicoptered in and a big marquee was set up for speeches. He had arrived several hours late, but the local men and women were already out in force. Meeting and socialising, dressed in their finest. Men in furs, women in beads. They were predominately young, beautiful, dazzling in style.

Isandlwana is the most physically impressive and dramatic battlefield of them all. To one side the giant mastiff looms over a vast, desolate plain, while behind the valleys and hills of the west rise and roll. A fearsome place to die in battle, and here the British did in their hundreds. Outsmarted and outnumbered by a massive Zulu army armed only with shields, knives, spears and unwavering spirit, the 1,300 or so British were surrounded. In a matter of hours the Zulus had attacked from all sides using the famous 'Horns of the Bull' strategy, crushing the invading army, leaving not a man standing. The British did not know what was coming.

The many white cairns marking the places where the dead were left are all that remain of this battle. It is not in Zulu tradition to leave behind markers of wars victorious or not, the stones remain for those young men who died far from their homeland. For those Zulus who visit today, this land and its legends passed down through generations, tell their own story.

Summer in Malawi - Lake Malawi and Zomba Mountain

The view from the deck at Domwe Island. Blissful spot for a Malawi Gin and tonic sundowner

Living in Joburg you have much of Africa on your doorstep. So far we've visited Chobe in Botswana, Victoria Falls in Zambia and Zimbabwe, Swaziland, Lesotho and Maputo in Mozambique. Our biggest dream for a while though has been to visit Malawi, which we finally did in December 2016 – pretty much the hottest time of year to be there. Planning a trip to Malawi is pretty easy – it's less than three hours flight from Joburg – but there are also a few complications you should think about in advance.

NEED TO KNOW

Transport

I was determined that if we were to spend the majority of our time at Lake Malawi then the high cost of renting a car made no sense – we simply wouldn't be using it. Why not just take a bus? In the end we didn't take a bus anywhere for the whole 10 days because they were so complicated. I'd heard about luxe coaches travelling the main routes to the lake, but I never found these mythical coaches. 

That plan scrapped I looked at minibus taxis. From Blantyre to the village of Chembe on the south coast of the lake, I was informed that I'd need at least 3 minibuses, that the journey could take at least eight hours and that we'd also likely need to find a regular taxi for the last 30minutes to the village (drive direct and its four hours total trip). Bearing in mind we were only in Malawi for ten days, I scrapped this plan altogether.

From our hostel in Blantyre we managed to arrange a taxi to Chembe for about 75,000 kwacha (a very unexpectedly expensive outlay). It was a straightforward journey albeit with a 40 minute detour through Blantyre in search of Malawi's cheapest petrol. When we arrived at Chembe our driver and his five year old son took a dip in the lake, sipped a Fanta and drove four hours back again, It's worth bearing in mind that the high taxi cost is mainly due to the fact that your driver will be doing a round trip. 

Money
Malawi's Kwacha is vastly inflated. Our 75,000K ride was the equivalent of about R1300 – paid all in R2,000 notes as there is no bigger note in Malawi. Getting hold of this amount of cash involved several trips to ATMs as you can only withdraw one 30,000K brick at a time (any larger amount simply would not fit through the hole in the machine), also often times machines don't have any cash in them. The lesson – bring dollars! 

Malaria
One complication we could have done without was taking malaria pills. We were pretty much constantly smothered in Tabard (best least-toxic smelling mosquito repellent in my opinion), and were not bitten once when at the lake (and this was in the height of summer). Furthermore malaria is not prevalent in Zomba Mountain or Blantyre where we spend four days of our trip. We took Mozitech (a generic of Malarone) for almost three weeks and while I didn't have side effects my husband suffered occasional irrational bouts of mild depression which he really could have done without. The only insects that did bother us were tiny, harmless-but-annoying midge flies at sunset when we were on Domwe Island. 

Shopping

If you need to buy any essentials (suncream, toiletries, any cooking basics) best buy in the Shoprite or Game in Blantyre or Lilongwe, there is not much to buy outside of the cities. Along the road we occasionally picked up a bag of hot chips or a cold coca-cola. In Chembe I found one or two tomatoes and some very skinny aubergines. However, generally speaking there was scarcely anything to buy other than beer, maize and mangoes. Our driver who took us to Zomba from Chembe spent the whole time with his eyes peeled for street stalls selling cabbages to take home for his family, we didn't see a cabbage the entire journey. 

The People
Malawians are famously friendly – Malawi's slogan is 'The Warm Heart of Africa' – and we found this to be true everywhere we went. We found the people to be kind, easy-going, gentle, jovial, open-hearted and un-intrusive. We were never once hassled by souvenir or guide touts, crime never crossed our mind and everywhere we went people greeted us with a warm and genuine smile.

Local transport in Chembe village

Trying to cool off while waiting for chicken and chips at a local Chembe cafe in the middle of the day. Something about mad dogs, British people and midday sun....

WHERE WE WENT

Chembe

Our first stop on the lake was the village of Chembe in Cape Maclear on the south coast – an unspoiled little bay that had a curiously low number of tourists. The long long sandy beach has about a dozen little low rise guesthouses strung along it and the two streets behind are home to the villagers, many of whom are fishermen. It's a sleepy little place with somewhat sporadic electricity. Fiercely hot during the day the whole village comes down to the shore in the late afternoon to relax, wash, do laundry and greet the fishermen. 

We did take a brief stroll through the village in the day time to get some mangoes and find chicken and chips for lunch but melted after 3 blocks. The evening is the best time. We didn't get the 'lake of stars' as it was a full moon, but we did have the magic of walking along the beach and back through the village with our way lit just by moonlight and the dim lights of little houses. This is a great place to switch off for a while.

Local kids playing on Chembe beach at sunset. It is at about this time that the Chembe Beach Boys, a 'band' of little kids with homemade instruments like to drop by to perform their favourite song; 'who let the mzungus out?' ('hello, hello, hello, hello!')

The beach on our doorstep at Thumbi View Lodge

Chembe beach in Cape Maclear. Generally it is not recommended to swim here as there is a high risk of contracting billharzia. It is better to take a boat out to swim off Thumbi Island which is unpopulated - billharzia only spreads if there are many people. Also better snorkeling opportunities there.

Domwe Island

We spent four nights on Domwe Island which was as close to paradise as you can find in Malawi. Domwe is the more basic of two private islands in Cape Maclear run by Kayak Africa. There's the option of safari tent or camping, both of which are set up under little wooden cabins with a private deck and hammock. We went with the safari tent and brought all our own food to self-cater, although you can also pay extra for full board - we saw what the other guests were eating and it seemed very good value. Toilets are 'eco' (a smart long drop with compost) and showers are from a suspended bucket shower (the water gets warm enough quickly from the sun).

On our first night we were the only guests – our own private island! I'd sourced a large fish back in Chembe to bring with us and the three staff who live on the island (there's a changeover each week) cooked it up for us on a fire with lemon and garlic while we watched the most incredible sunset. I'd say it's the best fish grill I've ever had. On the following nights we asked the staff to find some fish for us from the passing fishermen, these were much smaller (mostly catfish) than that I'd found in the village but the staff again cooked them up beautifully for us at little extra cost. Unfortunately Lake Malawi is overfished and supplies are much lower than they once were - a general reflection of one of Malawi's most pressing problems – over population, which is constantly pressuring Malawi's food security.

We didn't get up to too much while on the island, we used the time largely as a switch off and tune out opportunity. Savouring the bliss of no electricity we devoured books and slept like babies, rising naturally early as the fishermen came past in the dawn light singing songs and rowing their dugout canoes in formation. At least twice a day we'd go out for a swim. The water is incredibly clear, a perfect refreshing luke warm temperature and full of colourful tropical ciclids so make sure you pack a snorkel.

Our little safari tent cabin on Domwe hidden behind the trees

Fisherman in dugout canoe returning home at dusk

Maybe the best fish I ever ate, served with rice and tinned beans from Shoprite in Blantyre

The small beach at Domwe

Zomba

After leaving the lake we had toyed with the idea of heading to Mount Mulanje but were largely unprepared for proper hiking (next time!). Instead we visited Zomba, a mountain plateau about 1.5 hours east of Blantyre. 

Most accommodation options in Zomba town at the foot of the mountain were pretty poor value for their price and we were seriously let down by our guidebook (I'd bought the new Bradt guide) which unfortunately pointed us to a place described as 'the most historic and smartest lodge' in town (Hotel Masongola) that in reality resembled a haunted house straight out of a Hitchcock film. In the end we spent a night at Annie's Lodge, the only place in Malawi where we were ripped off. We were told that only the ludicrous Presidential Suite was available, when in reality the hotel was half empty. Up in our lofty Presidential section of the hotel were the other African and European foreigners who were passing this way. Interesting coincidence. Also fun to note that the Malawian President himself has a mansion in Zomba just down the road from Annie's Lodge.

We spent the next two nights up the mountain at the Zomba Forest Lodge, the most expensive stay of our trip. The room included full board and the outstanding food cooked up by our British-Malawian hosts was by far the best we ate on our whole trip. From the lodge we followed the trails through the thick forests and also took a hike up to the plateau along the old forestry road which is now used as the main route for locals traversing the mountain on foot ('Merry Christmas!' the children yelled at us). From the top of Zomba again wonderful views awaited, a quick pitstop at the fancy Sunbird Ku Chawe Hotel for a bottle of Malawi's finest beer Kuche Kuche, and back at the lodge evening arrived, the sky heavy with rain gave us a typically spectacular sunset. Just as we had become accustomed to Malawi's rhythm it was time to go. We'll be back.

View over the plains towards Blantyre from the Zomba Mountain trail

Zomba sunset with rain on the way

WHERE WE STAYED

Blantyre

Doogles – basic and very reasonably priced hostel with dorms and private rooms. Decent bar. Don't walk around outside the hostel, especially at night, the taxi rank/bus station next door is a notorious mugging hotspot. We paid R550 a night for a large double en-suite with fan.
Chez Maki – Very nice views over the green hills from the cafe-bar terrace and an easy walk to the city centre with great views along the way. Basics rooms with shared bathroom. We just turned up here and took what was available, came to about R600 for the night.

Cape Maclear

Thumbi View Lodge – Very reasonably priced, recently upgraded little en-suite room, with a fan, directly on the beach. Nice and quiet. The guesthouse was recently bought by a (very helpful) South African couple who were busy putting in a swimming pool. At the entrance there's a stall with a tailor who makes clothes with local kitenge cloths at very quick turnaround. About R700 a night (including a cooked breakfast). You can book through booking.com
Domwe Island – aka paradise island. Make sure to book well in advance. You can canoe out there if you are very fit, but we opted for the boat. South Africans (and residents) get a discount. We paid R1800 per night.

Zomba

Annie's Lodge – if you can get a normal room then fine, but if you have to fork out $85 for a presidential suite it simply isn't worth it.
Zomba Forest Lodge – Half way up the mountain with quite a stretch on a forest dirt road (one for the experienced drivers). There's no electricity so pay in cash or arrange to pay beforehand (the owners have a UK bank account). The food is the best you'll find in Malawi and the owners are very invested in local conservation and forestry which more than makes up for the $200 a night price tag.

On Battlefields: 1. Visiting the Anglo-Boer Battlefields

What do you do when you visit a battlefield?

You walk and wander and try to imagine.

Try to envisage young men fighting each other to the death. Defending their positions. Marching across the land. Waiting for orders to wage war on each other. This land is my land! For Queen and Country! To the death! Each finding the conviction that for this, or for that, they are prepared to kill, and to die.

Usually you learn something, some lost history. Your mind tries to attune itself to competing histories and conflicting memories.

You remember. Or at least you try to remember for those who could have but are now gone. For always at the battlefields, it's not a life gone or a burning memory that was forever yours to suffer. It is the story of your ancestors. Their memories and their suffering. It's not your battle.

Trying to gaze back in time and pity the dead and their in/glorious deaths on some forgotten hilltop. That's mostly what you are doing.

The Siege of Ladysmith

In late January my husband's uncle came out from Scotland to visit us in Johannesburg. A retired history teacher with a passion for battlefields, an avid golfer and a massive cricket fan, this visit had all the elements of a great holiday. Perfect golfing weather, England playing a test match at the Wanderers and the many battlefields of KwaZulu Natal just a few hours drive away.

The first port of call was Ladysmith, the site of the worst siege of the Anglo-Boer Wars, about a four hour drive from Joburg. Here in the middle of a wide verdant valley the British held out for four months ducking fire from the Long Tom guns of Boer guerrillas gathered in the surrounding hills. Trying to find some normality they wrote letters, played cards, gathered round for a dram of whisky now and then and spent their day trudging goods to the market hoping to avoid the shells of an unexpected blast along the way. This was a modern siege held with canons and guns as they are today. 

Our first night in the Battlefields was spent at Bullers Rest, a lovely guesthouse set up like a small fortress with terraces and lookout points spread across a ridge watching over the city just across from where the British once held their line of defense back in the summer of 1899-1900. Dinner was a fabulous meal of hearty stew held at a communal table in the main house followed by drinks and a brief history lesson by Uncle (General) Robertson in the bar. Scraps of gun metal and old bottles, a deerstalker, a pipe and a pith helmet found decorating the bar made the perfect props.

The next morning the Ladysmith museum awaited (go there – it is excellent!) and the mind's eye had found some semblance of the positioning of defenses, the lives of the people of the town, the men who wore the uniforms and the battlefields they fought on.

The View from Bullers Rest (we stayed in the room to the right)

The bar at Bullers Rest

Two Johns, One Long Tom

Photo of a Boer Commando (as seen at Ladysmith Siege Museum)

The Battle of Spioenkop

With these brief lessons and our enthusiastic Anglo-Boer War buff General Robertson at our side we headed off to the Spioenkop – 'the hill of spies', about 40km west of Ladysmith. This was the site of one of the worst British defeats of the Anglo-Boer war.

On the night of January 24, 1900 a wily band of Boer spies and guerrillas were camped atop a steep rocky hill within a day's ride of Ladysmith. A small army of several hundred British soldiers approached from the further steepest side of the Spioenkop, convinced of their ability to climb the almost sheer rock face in the dead of night, in full regalia, and catch their enemy unawares. 

As darkness descended and the climb up the koppie began, so too came the mist. By the time the first outlying Boer watchman was caught the scene was set for chaos. The British thought they had taken the hill, having mistaken the true summit and began to haphazardly dig trenches. Unbeknownst to them Boer spies had already run off to send news of the British attack.

As dawn rose the British realised their mistaken position all too late and soon the bands of Boers who were camped in the surrounding hills, had already begun their attack. Men fumbled, fought and fell, trying to find a formation, a cover or failing that, a plan. The trenches were useless and gun fire reigned in from the Boer Long Tom canons parked on nearby hills. By the time the battle was done, the causalities were catastrophic. Hundreds of men lay injured or dead, while the rest of the British army retreated and by the time the next morning came, two lone burghers reputedly stood alone amid a field of fallen British soldiers.

Now the mountain was empty save for us three tourists and a wide scattering of graves, monuments and bright white stone cairns. Some new, some old. The forgotten heroes, the strange names from unusual small towns, the first Boer scout, the young men from Lancashire villages and Liverpudlian slums, the wily Boer spies and guerrillas, the Generals and captains, the Burghers and the farmers. The Indian field nurses and doctors and the black scouts from the competing armies, are also now remembered by more recent memorials.

Many of the British who lost their lives on that hill hailed from Liverpool and the Anfield Kop stand is named in honour of this hopeless defeat. The lonely entrance office at the bottom of the steep winding road leading to the Spioenkop battlefield is in its turn decorated in honour of Anfield, festooned with red LFC flags and scarves.

The British climbed this side of the hill in the dead of night

The grave of the Boer watchman, first to be killed during the battle

Monuments, crosses, cairns and stones

(Note to readers: My sincerest apologies if I've repeated any historical inaccuracies – I lost the original guide booklet from the Spioenkop battlefield and had to rely on other sources to back-up my memory of the visit! You can collect the excellent and essential Spioenkop battlefield guide from the small office at the entrance)

Victoria Falls and Bob's Birthday

If there are only a few things you see during time spent in southern Africa, the Victoria Falls has to be one of them. I can honestly, hand on my heart, say that this is one of the most spectacular natural wonders I have ever seen in my life. If you are in Joburg, this is a totally doable (if a little expensive) weekend away.
We left Joburg on a Friday afternoon by the region's newest low-cost airline flyafrica. Note that this really is a budget airline so there are the hidden costs, the delayed flights and a general lack of fanfare. But still as far as budget airlines go, it wasn't too bad – a perfectly comfortable flight, half empty plane and this amazing view as you circle the falls before landing. Not bad at all.

The Victoria Falls airport is tiny (but will be pretty large in a few years time when they finish extending it), so there are only two or three passport control desks and most foreigners from outside Africa need a visa, so be prepared to queue. A so-called UNIVISA costs $50, is multiple-entry, lasts 30 days and allows you to enter Zambia too. You need to pay for it in cash and there's no cash machine before you cross immigration – so it is essential that you BRING DOLLARS! In fact general rule about visiting Zimbabwe – bring dollars. I don't think I saw a cash machine the whole time we were there....

Our home for the weekend was the Victoria Falls Backpackers, a great budget option run with relaxed expertise by the wonderful Jay, a fountain of knowledge on interesting things to do in the area. From the backpackers it was a short taxi ride ($5) to the falls.

THE VICTORIA FALLS

The Victoria Falls park is very well-maintained with an easy to follow path and for a terrified-of-heights type such as me was a magical experience. Even though I was close to the edge of a huge thundering chasm, I felt almost no pangs of 'OMG don't go near the edge!' for the most part The Edge is carefully fenced off and the beauty and sheer wonder of it all somehow puts you at ease.

We walked back and forth along the edge of the falls for a few hours, admiring the rainbows, marvelling at the immense flow of water, revelling in the lush greenery and occasionally getting  completely soaked. As you get closer to the centre of the falls (ominously called Danger Point) the spray covers you from all sides. With the heat being in the early 30s many of the visitors, even those dressed in their finest clothes, couldn't get enough of the soaking – it is really something quite special to be enveloped in the spray of the world's biggest waterfall.

From here we headed off to the Zambian side of the falls to watch the sun set from the terrace of one of Africa's most luxurious hotels, The Royal Livingstone. Even though the cocktails cost $15 and rooms can go for $700 per night, they were quite happy to let bedraggled riff raff such as us shlep in for sundowners, and boy was it worth it – this was a really magical Friday night sunset on the Zambezi.

Once the sun had gone down we rushed off back across the border for dinner on the main drag of the town of Victoria Falls before drinks and dancing at the other backpackers Shoestrings, evidently also one of the most popular bars in town. Supposedly it's not usually as busy as it was that night, but as we found out this was a special weekend in Vic Falls – Robert Mugabe's birthday.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOB

I don't think I need to go into too much detail about Robert Mugabe's biography, suffice to say, the President is 91 years old and has been ruling Zimbabwe for 35 years. During that time a lot has happened, but significantly in the last decade the economy and the currency has collapsed. All transactions in Zimbabwe are now made in US dollars – in cash - and Zimbabwean dollar notes are sold on the streets as novelty souvenirs. 

A select few Zimbabweans have become rich taking advantage of the discrepancies in prices between their country and their neighbour South Africa by selling all kinds of things on the black market, but for most ordinary Zimbabweans the last few years have been dire. Life is expensive in Zimbabwe, many things are in short supply and for those working abroad and sending money home the dollar exchange often means they still come up short.

On the Saturday of our trip Mr Mugabe arrived with a huge entourage of loyal supporters (literally thousands of them) for an extravagant birthday party that is rumoured to have cost $1 million. It is said that the celebratory buffet included lion, buffalo and elephant meat. Meanwhile a massive rally with performances by a wealth of major Zimbabwean musicians took place at the town's stadium.  Despite being invited many times by an array of businessmen, generals and hangers-on to come along and see what the fuss was about, we didn't attend either event.

Everywhere we went in the town, the streets were thronged with people dressed in Happy Birthday T-shirts or traditional dresses and shirts bearing the face of Mugabe. Every hotel, guesthouse, lodge and empty building in the town was filled with guests of the party. It was a difficult event to avoid and it set a rather rather strange vibe on the town.

At one point we even met a 'secret service officer' who didn't say much at all. She may or may not have been a girlfriend of one of the guests and I still have no idea what her job involved, or if indeed she was even a secret service officer at all. It seemed she didn't understand much English..... but she may have also been bluffing so as to be able to eavesdrop on our conversations....who knows? Like I say, at times in the town things were a bit unusual.

BABOONS AND MARABOUS

We spent Saturday leisurely avoiding all birthday festivities. From the backpackers we took a short stroll, passing by families of mongoose scuttling over the path to a nearby lodge, which overlooks its own nature reserve. The main wildlife highlight is its vulture colony who are fed scraps every day from a restaurant overlooking the reserve. In addition to the vultures there were also hoards of marabous – if you can believe it marabous are even uglier than vultures – hideous gangly creatures! 

From here we hopped on the free shuttle bus to town. This time we skipped the entrance of the falls and continued over the border to look at the Victorian bridge which forms the Zim-Zam border – a incredible piece of ambitious colonial engineering. John insisted on taking the zipline over the gorge that the bridge spans, I stayed in the bar and tried to avoid the massive baboons who stroll around the border area like hooligans, rummaging through the bins and following traders who studiously avoid them. 

MEANWHILE BACK AT THE RANCH...

Back at the backpackers that evening Jay had put on a braai for us all and a fire. We enjoyed mountains of pap and veg and perfectly braaied meat and sausages and had the chance to gossip around the boma with the Zimbabweans who had been at the birthday party.

Of course when I say gossip I mean pester them with questions about the elephant meat. In all honesty they didn't have a lot to say about it all, everyone in Zimbabwe is very guarded about discussing anything that is anywhere near politics, especially on such an auspicious day as this.  The one thing that everyone was vocal about though was their insistence that we should still take the chance to visit the concert at the stadium – or at least go to one of the many after-parties. 

Instead we stayed and drank our Duty Free booze around the fire while listening to the far away sounds of parties and sniffing the air for the faint scent of marijuana smoke which seemed to be drifting around everywhere. Having talked our way around Bob and his birthday, the conversation instead took an about-turn to religion. I told the guys I felt myself to be agnostic – I don't know was it the right or wrong answer, or whether there was just a lot of smoke in the air, but my response elicited initial confusion, followed by a very sincere discussion. 

I conclude from this that when in Zim you simply can't talk Bob. But Zimbabweans seem to be those deep thoughtful types and so any other topic that isn't frivolous will be met with the utmost seriousness.
That or they thought I was speaking in some kind of code.
With the topic of religion then put to bed we played some chess before the Zimbabweans left to party, flirt and not talk politics through the night. They were after all a long way away from celebrating their 91st birthdays.

Joburg House Music - My 7 Top Tracks You Should Know #Issue1

Before I moved to Johannesburg I was pretty ignorant of quite a few things. Like I didn't know what a tokoloshe was and I wasn't sure what was in the 'monkeygland sauce' (not monkey of course, but still, I wasn't sure). I wasn't a pro on craft beer and I'd never tasted pinotage before. Klipdrift I assumed was a place not a brandy and markets I had always thought were rough and ready places to bargain with traders over the veggies, not fashionable joints to hang out and try gourmet street food at the weekend...

But, worse than all that, the biggest thing I  didn't know about life here was what a huge deal house music is in South Africa. And I mean, really, really huge. Joburg is pretty much at the centre of the South African house music scene and quite frankly house music in South Africa is some of the best in the world right now. Blasting from the cars and getting every party bouncing, house is the sound of the city. Joburg moves, grooves, sasses and defines itself with these rhythms and whatever your class, race, creed or nationality, all are present and welcome in this scene.

Now, even though I probably over-dance to it and consequently look like a dork, I just really love my house music, South African or not. I've tried to keep a track of what's coming out that's cool and my kind of sound ever since I first switched on the radio here and realised everything I was listening to was awesome local produce. And so, a year and half into my new life in South Africa, I present to you (in no particular order) the 7 South African house tracks that you really should know about. 

Here's your playlist:

1. HEAVY K ft MPUMI - WENA
Let's start with an absolute stormer to get you in the right mood. Producer and DJ Heavy K is also known as the Drumboss, which tells you most of what you need to know. The man gets around and his name is on all kinds of hit remixes and his instrumentals are always something else. This tune was an instant killer from the very first time I heard it coming out of some cafe. And that lady, man she is just SO fierce, love her and love this track. Sing it people - weeeeeeeeeeena!

2. MI CASA - JIKA
Mixing a latino and soul edge with smooth house beats and pop sensibility, these Jozi boys are the popular house sound of this city. Everywhere you go, they're either performing live or they're playing on the stereo. Their biggest hit Jika had some incredible radio airtime and even sprouted its own dance move. We've all listened to Jika rather a little too much in the last months, but it's still a definitive sound of Joburg for me so I had to put it on the list - and even just listening to it again now I'm dying to go and chill at some house party. To quote some random from youtube "With this song I feel like I can dance....but I cant, it just makes you wanna dance". I am also totally in love with their latter single Turn you on – so addictive and sexy in just the right kind of classy way. Study the video, learn the simple dance moves and everyone's your friend!

3. DJ KENT FT THE ARROWS – SPIN MY WORLD AROUND
The south Joburg based DJ is a house music king and just keeps putting out hits. You cannot but go crazy for this song, it's catchy, simple and has an ever so sweet little pop tinge to it. Crank it up loud, feel good and dance my friends, there's always a time and place for this kind of song. And what a relief to not have a female vocalist who is not prancing in her bikini all over the video hey? Yup, that's another reason why SA house is cool, the women are being themselves.

4. DJ CLOCKS FT BEATENBERG - PLUTO
Definitely more on the indie-pop side of house music, not sure if this is still even proper house aside from the DJ title on the track...but you know what? That's fine with me. It's upbeat, easy-going and summery. Perfect for a chilled-out sunny Joburg afternoon. 

5. MAFIKOZOLO FT UHURU - KHONA
Mafikozolo are a South African super-group. They formed in the early 1990s and have been chart-toppers for years and despite one of the trio having sadly been murdered in 2004, they've managed to keep on going, making distinctively South African music that the people love and which brings the house down. Their music tends to be a blend of afro-pop and kwaito beats, but with this track they went full on deep house on us. Note the dancing in the video, that's how SA house music makes you move, whoever you are. Random youtube lady was right.

6. BUCIE FT HEAVY K - EASY TO LOVE
Time to introduce Bucie, the Princess of House. Her voice has that rhythm and special edge that just puts you in a place. She's worked with everyone and there's really a lot to choose from, but this is arguably her biggest hit. I've no idea what she says in the hook there (still ignorant foreigner in some things) before 'your so easy to love', but I'll keep pretending to lip synch to it anyway. Note to club fans, the place she leaves at the end of the video is Sway in Sandton!

7. BLACK COFFEE FT TOSHI - BUYA
DJ and music producer, Black Coffee is one of SA's superstar DJs. He keeps the party going on and on and if he's on the decks, well hot damn - you must be at the right kind of party! Usually, being such a big name he's more likely to be playing a festival than a club. If you've made it this far through my playlist, you should be ready for this one. It's not so instantly poptastic dance fest, more a track to remind you that house music can be mellow too. Keeping it real soft, dark and deep this track has a slightly speedier rhythm to it, perfect for those long night drives...and then there's that subtle vocal running through it. Altogether hypnotic.